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Jokes for everyone. Have you played a joke on anyone lately? Get a good laugh and have some fun. |
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The following are supposedly true headlines that have appeared in papers during the war.
Some Leading Papers' Coverage of Custer's Massacre
Variety: "Custer Closes Out of Town"
Pravda: "Big Red Victory."
Sports Illustrated: "Indians Win Series"
Women's Wear Daily: "Feathers Make Comeback"
Reader's Digest: "Sitting Bull Reveals New Cure for Dandruff"
The Washington Post: "Custer Loses Rural Vote"
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Flash - New Weapon in America's Arsenal - Dubbed 'The Chicken Gun'
Senate majority leader Howard H. Baker Jr., expressed astonishment to the Senate, over recent news accounts of an Air Force "chicken gun."
It seems the gun is a converted 20-foot cannon capable of hurling dead four-pound chickens at airplanes at 700 miles per hour ... The armament is used to help find ways to reduce accidents caused by jets hitting birds.
"My first reaction to this story was one of bitterness," Baker told colleagues.
"I wonder why a 'special classified briefing' had not been set up for members of Congress on the new chicken gun and I wondered if Secretary of Defense Casper Weinberger was planning one."
Baker also wondered aloud "how far along the Soviet Union is with the deployment of their 'chicken gun', and how will our Minuteman, Midgetman and Sparrow missles get along with this new weapon..."
Baker went on to wonder if the Navy might be working on it's own version of 'the chicken gun', "which would be, one assumes, a 'chicken of the sea'."
Baker congratulated the Air Force "on it's resourcefulness."
"Despite the fact that there will no doubt be those that will be skeptical of such research, I for one, see nothing more involved than a little 'fowl' play," Baker replied...
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He is not quiet...
He is a Conversational Minimalist.
He is a SAMS grad. |
He does not have a beer gut...
He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.(regular guys)
He has a personal war reserve stock.(army guys) |
The following is supposedly a true story relating to a United States shipping company.
THE U.S. shipping company had a new ship built. It was to be the pride of the fleet, and something special was wanted to decorate the captain's saloon, a large living room/office where the vessel's business and entertaining would take place.
Someone suggested that a set of nautical prints would lend a nice touch. He knew of a shop in London that specialized in such things, and the prints were ordered and hung in the saloon.
It was not until the trial run of the vessel, when both the builder's and the owner's representatives were aboard, that someone looked closely at the prints. Each was of an American ship being captured by, or surrendering to, a British warship during the War of 1812.
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Time sensitive note: This joke pertains to the crash of a Chinese plane into a United States plane over International waters. China demanded an apology from us and stole technology from our plane when it was forced to make an emergency landing in Chinese lands.
In a heroic dogfight, fought over international waters off the mainland China coast, a 60s era American-built Lockheed Electra propeller airliner with 24 US Navy passengers/observers aboard chewed up one of China's best state-of-the-art supersonic fighter aircraft.
The Americans utilizing the infrequently seen combat tactic of straight and level flight, often accomplished by relying solely on auto pilot, engaged the unfortunate single seat combat jet and knocked it out of the air using only one of its four formidable rotating air mass propeller weapons system.
After the action, the crew and passengers/observers dropped in on China's Hainan Island Resort for some much-deserved R&R as guests of the Chinese government.
Reprinted from the Taiwan Daily Gazette
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An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.
"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"
"Yes," said the Navy brat.
"My dad has built them."
Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"
"Yes."
"It's my dad who's killed it!" |
Little grandson asked: "Granddaddy, when you were in the Army and were posted as sentry at night, were you afraid?"
"I was, grand sonny, but only until I fell asleep."
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| When asked what he thought about the new squad radio, one Army sergeant told the man from the R&D agency: "This squad radio should be replaced with a good whistle." |
The company commander saw the results of Private Gibbson's Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed plaintively: "Sir, I think I am going to commit suicide by shooting myself."
"By shooting?" reasked the company commander, "Not a bad idea! But take as many cartridges as possible." |
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