| Jokes |
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Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well
known mannequin-victim, Resusci Anne, to practice. My group's model was legless to allow for storage in a
carrying case.
The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked
"Are you all right?" He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She said she can't feel her legs!" |
Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well
known mannequin-victim, Resusci Anne, to practice. My group's model was legless to allow for storage in a
carrying case.
The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked
"Are you all right?" He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She said she can't feel her legs!" |
A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam.
He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death.
One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.
After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."
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There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were papers to suit all needs. Since it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade, and C grade.
One student, who had spent the weekend on more "extra-curricular pursuits," went to the bank, and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for a inconspicuous C. He then retyped it and handed the work in.
In due course he received it back with the professor's comments.
"I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it was worth an A, and now I'm pleased to give it one!"
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For a final philosophy examination, the question was, "What is courage?" 3 minutes into a 3 hour exam, one student wrote,
"This is" and walked out.
The professor responded by writing on the exam, "No, that was stupid."
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It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."
Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the twelve hundred students who went to move 26 cars return
to class." |
A teacher asked one of the boys in her class, "Can people predict the future with cards?"
His response was, "My mother can."
The teacher replied, "Really?"
The young boy was quick to explain, "Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my
father gets home."
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Lots of things go on during "spring break" as the college students let off a little steam. This one student was arrested for indecent exposure in a field near the beach, and was appearing before a judge. "I plead not guilty, Your Honor. I only went there to get relieved," he testified.
"Well, I'm inclined to accept your explanation." said the judge.
"I guess some allowances must be made for 'emergencies'."
"That's true to a point, Your Honor," said the arresting officer. "But what about this young lady here who relieved him?"
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Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day. The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry
had made to society.
When my turn came, I answered, "Blondes!"
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Even though I was an engineering student at the University of Maryland, chemistry was a required course in my day. The Professor, on the first day of class, asked everyone to name the most outstanding contribution chemistry
had made to society.
When my turn came, I answered, "Blondes!"
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